King Henry VIII and PM BoJo 500 years later

By George ILIEV

Brexit Metaphor No 169

It’s 5 years today since the 2016 Brexit referendum - since king BoJo cut off Britain from Europe. Well, 500 years ago Henry VIII did the same for personal benefit. So what would be more appropriate to mark the anniversary than the finale of the musical “The Six” (wives of Henry VIII) - live from the West End:

https://youtu.be/GBLa-aNSfc0

“Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived.”

From "Oh, Turkey!" to Autarky! in Five Years

By George ILIEV

Brexit Metaphor No 168

1) UK in 2016: “Oh, Turkey!” 

(Big Muslim country is about to join the EU.)

2) UK in 2021: Autarky!

(We’ll have to eat our own fish, beef & beetroot.)

No shit, Sherlock!

Cherry picking on Trafalgar Square

By George ILIEV

Brexit Metaphor No 167

London's Trafalgar Square has a new outdoor art installation that brings together the key metaphors of Brexit:

1) "Cherry picking": Britain's demands for a-la-carte trade with the EU.

2) "Tilting at windmills": attacking imaginary enemies, a la Don Quijote.

3) "Fly in the ointment": the irritations of having to negotiate trade deals after formally executing Brexit (step 1 of 27).

4) "Flash in the pan" - or rather flash in the windows: the success of the 2016 referendum and the 2019 general elections that may never be repeated again.

5) Nelson's Column: all these metaphors are juxtaposed with the symbol of Britain's victorious imperial past.

Trafalgar Square, August 7, 2020

Corbyn's help for Boris in pushing through Brexit was like breaking a menagerie of glass toys

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 166

In one of the sequels to the Three Musketeers, Alexandre Dumas tells a story about the illegitimate son of Cardinal Richelieu. A jolly young lad of around 20, Richelieu Junior pays visits to the child king Louis XIV from time to time. One day Richelieu Junior arrives at the palace and finds the boy king upset over something. In frustration, little Louis has just embarked on breaking his large collection of glass menagerie toys. Young Richelieu does not ask for the reason - instead he joins the boy king and helps him break every single glass toy he has.

Fast forward some 400 years to Brexit times and the story repeats itself - but with different characters. Jeremy Corbyn is young Richelieu and Boris Johnson is little Louis XIV (the Sun King), busy with destroying Britain's economic fortunes with Brexit. Instead of arguing against Brexit, Corbyn arrives at the scene and joins Johnson in pushing through Brexit and finishing off Britain's departure from the EU.

If only someone else had been Labour leader in 2016 - perhaps Keir Starmer - the outcome of the 2016-2020 Brexit drama could have been different. And perhaps at least some of the glass menagerie would have survived Brexit. Alas, history is full of counterfactuals.

Louis XIV as a child, by an unknown painter
(image source: Wikipedia)

P.S. The Glass Menagerie, a play by Tennessee Williams, also features a glass unicorn with a broken horn - just like the one on the Royal coat of arms of the United Kingdom (post-Brexit).

Britain's future outside the EU: Evolving in the opposite direction

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 165

Now that Britain has left the EU, it can go its own way.

In nature, an animal has just been discovered that went its own way. It is a fish parasite which has evolved to derive its energy not from breathing oxygen but from other sources (still unclear how).

Ta.

Example of a parasite: human head louse (Source: Wikipedia)

Britain: Don't cut off your left arm just because Asia grows faster than Europe

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 164

Brexiteers argue that Asia is where the bulk of future growth will come from, eclipsing Europe in importance for Britain's trade and investment flows. So if Britain is a swimmer, Asia will be the stronger right arm while Europe will be the weaker left arm. (The Americas and Africa can be the legs.)

These trends are real, but which swimmer in their right mind would amputate their left arm just because their left arm is weaker than their right one?

Swimmer, crawl / freestyle (Source: Wikipedia)

Boris Johnson: the butt of all trumps

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 163

Brexit is providing another interesting legalistic iteration of the Rock-Paper-Scissors game: 

1) A High Court ruling would trump any decision of the Prime Minister.
The hearings on the PM's decision to prorogue Parliament are due to take place on September 5, both at the High Court in London and, separately, at the Court of Session in Edinburgh.

2) Parliament trumps Prime Minister.
After all, it elects the PM.

3) Parliament (normally) trumps the courts.
There was a fisheries case once when the court disavowed an Act of Parliament, but that was because it clashed with other legislation passed by Parliament. So the court was an arbiter between conflicting parliamentary legislation, not an overlord.

So, looking at these multiple scenarios of "trumping" in which the PM is always on the receiving end, it does look like the PM is "the butt of all trumps" - if you'll pardon the pun. 

Boris Johnson and Donald Trump (a butt and a trump, if you prefer) are two peas in a pod. But even Trump hasn't dared suspend Congress.

How come we ended up with the courts having to intervene in defence of Parliament?

An 1884 painting of buttocks (Source: Wikipedia)

Brexit Britain is turning into a headless torso: no eyes, no tongue

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 162

With the decision to prorogue Parliament, Boris Johnson is turning Britain into a headless chicken. And if chicken is too diminutive a word for a great country, then perhaps a headless torso will do. It comes Greek-antiquity style, just as Etonians like it. Boris also seems to like Athenian-style direct democracy: rule by "The People". 

So did Mussolini.

Britain is cutting off its head so it "has no tongue with which to speak or eyes with which to see". The metaphor is mine, but Jacob Rees-Mogg used the quoted line in an attack against the Speaker of the House of Commons, John Bercow, on BBC Radio 4 on August 29. How appropriate!

Eyes and tongue? Who needs such paraphernalia if there is no head?

Headless torso (Source: Wikipedia)

Brexit is haunted. Why weren't we warned?

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 161 

If you buy or rent a property in Hong Kong, the real estate agent has to notify you if the property is "haunted": if someone at the property died prematurely (basically if somone was murdered or committed suicide).

The Brexit process has been "haunted" for almost three years now and it promises to remain "haunted" for the foreseeable future. No one was warned about this by the Brexiteer / Leave leaders. And now that Theresa May's Withdrawal Agreement has been defeated today for the third time in Parliament, the ghost of this agreement will be added to the other haunted spirits stuck in limbo: the status of the Irish border, the status of the EU citizens in the UK, the status of the British citizens in the rest of the EU, etc.

Why weren't we warned that Brexit was at such a high risk of dying prematurely and turning into a spirit that will haunt us? Probably because if the Leave leaders had disclosed the truth, few voters would have voted Leave in the first place. Thus, we are stuck with the haunting spirit of Brexit but Halloween is a full 7 months away. Someone on the Leave side must have thought that the British public were pumpkins ready to be turned into Halloween lanterns in 2016. Three years later, may I wish you all Happy March 29 Halloween!

Halloween lantern (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 161 have been posted between October 2018 and the planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
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5. Thank you for being here!

The Great American Interchange and the Great European Shortchange

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 160   

Until three million years ago, North America (including Mexico and Central America) was separate from South America and there was an ocean in the middle. Then around three million yeas ago the Isthmus of Panama rose up from the sea floor and created a land bridge linking the two continents: a phenomenon known as the Great American Interchange.  After that the New World was never the same again. Many northern species, including jaguars, pumas, llamas and a tonne of other animals invaded the South and thrived. But only three South American species moved north and spread out in any large numbers (the armadillo, the opossum and the porcupine). The reason for this discrepancy was that northern animals had had millions of years to evolve and acclimatise to tropical conditions in Mexico and Central America, which had served as a nursery for their southern expansion. On the other hand, southern animals had only lived in the tropics so the northern plains and mountains were not a possible habitat for them.

The creation of the EU is a similar story of competition among economic and social species: a Great European Interchange. The Common Market served as a training ground for the global expansion of the most competitive European companies: Airbus, German carmakers, a few pharmaceutical firms and the banks and funds of the City of London. These companies became the jaguars and the pumas of the corporate world. On the other hand, freedom of movement exposed to trans-continental competition European blue-collar workers who hadn't acclimatised to globalisation. These workers, just like the South American species, became the losers from the Great European Interchange. Their sidelining ultimately led to Brexit and to the other (lesser) anti-EU social movements on the continent, as the EU for them felt more like "a Great European Shortchange." In Britain former prime minister Gordon Brown set up a shortlived Migration Impact Fund at the end of his rule in an attempt to mitigate the consequences of globalisation for manufacturing workers. Unfortunately, this fund was closed by the next British prime minister, David Cameron, who took over from 2010. Cameron didn't see the writing on the wall until it was too late - which cost him losing the ill-fated EU referendum in 2016.

There was one key difference between the Great American Interchange and the Great European Shortchange. Three million years ago, the different species in the Americas could only vote with their feet. In present-day Europe, all people can vote in elections and referendums, so leaving behind a large segment of the population feeling shortchanged was never going to be a successful recipe for cohesive political and economic development.

The Great American Interchange (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 160 have been posted so far and one more Brexit Metaphor remains to be published until the originally planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
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5. Thank you for being here!

Rock-Paper-Scissors can predict what Brexit will deliver

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 159 

Game Theory can describe the Brexit process since the EU Referendum and scope out the final outcome.

When was the last time you played Rock-Paper-Scissors? If you are a British voter, you unknowingly played one round in the EU Referendum in 2016.

There are three possible moves in the game:
a) PAPER is membership of the EU, with its (according to The Sun) paper-pushing bureaucrats in Brussels.
b) SCISSORS is Hard Brexit, whereupon Britain severs its ties with the EU.
c) ROCK represents some form of association with the EU, e.g. via Theresa May's Withdrawal Agreement or via membership of the Single Market, the bedrock of European prosperity. The Withdrawal Agreement has also been a rock tied around the neck of the British Prime Minister.

1. In ROUND 1, British voters were given a choice in 2016 between PAPER (Remain in the EU) and SCISSORS (Leave the EU) and they chose SCISSORS. Populism triggered emotions which trumped rational choices, hence the SCISSORS outcome.

2. ROUND 2 (ROCK beats SCISSORS) has been a prolonged process of external and internal (within the Conservative Party) negotiations from 2017 to 2019 that is still being played out. The UK Parliament has indicated that Hard Brexit is not an option and even Hard Brexiteers are starting to accept that this cannot happen.

3. In ROUND 3 (PAPER beats ROCK), the forthcoming solution is still being threshed out but any deal with the EU will be inferior to the relationship that Britain already has with the EU as a member, which gives the UK a seat at the decision-making table. So a solution of either revoking Article 50 in view of the chaos of Brexit or putting the final deal to a Second Referendum may ultimately lead to the outcome of Britain remaining in the EU.


Yet, a key question remains: when do you stop playing? If the UK stays in the EU, would Brexiteers ask for a 3rd referendum or attempt to sabotage Britain's EU membership in other ways?

Rock-Paper-Scissors game (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 159 have been posted so far and two more Brexit Metaphors will be published until the originally planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
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5. Thank you for being here!

Northern Ireland and the European Parliament elections are straitjackets on Brexit

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 158 

Boris Johnson once said that the EU had put a suicide vest on Britain and was holding the detonator. This is definitely not the case but his metaphor got quite some traction in the media.

Ironically, the UK itself has put two straightjackets on the Brexit process: one geographical, one temporal.

1. The status of Northern Ireland and the border between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland are the geographical straitjacket on Brexit. It pretty much ties Britain into some form of Customs Union with the EU and attaches Northern Ireland to the regulatory regime of the EU Single Market (except in a no-deal Brexit).

2. The European Parliament elections on May 23-26 are the time-limiting straitjacket on Brexit: the date of Brexit could have been postponed multiple times if there were no EP elections coming up in May. The EU maintains that every state has to hold elections for MEPs, which would be anathema to Brexiting Britain. Hence May 22 becomes the natural cutoff date for Brexit to take place.

This does not leave Britain too many options for Brexit: the country can either turn into a political and economic "couch potato" (an inactive participant) with a no-deal Brexit; or it can vote through Theresa May's Withdrawal Agreement and be a "straitjacket potato".

Straitjacket (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 158 have been posted so far and three more Brexit Metaphors will be published until the originally planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
4. Sign-up: I would be thrilled if you signed up to receive my blog daily by entering your email address in the blank in the top right-hand corner of this page.
5. Thank you for being here!

Theresa May is a yellow mangrove sacrificial leaf in the Brexit swamp

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 157 

Mangrove trees can grow in salt water because they can excrete the absorbed salt via some of their leaves called sacrificial leaves. These leaves turn yellow from the excess salt and fall off into the sea.

The Conservative Party is a mangrove tree in the Brexit swamp and Theresa May is the yellow sacrificial leaf. Surprisingly, however, she has clung on to her tree in her role as Prime Minister for a turbulent three years. 

Given her extraordinary survival, could she turn out to be not quite a sacrificial leaf but O. Henry's "The Last Leaf" instead?

Mangrove leaf (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 157 have been posted so far and 4 more Brexit Metaphor remain to be published until the originally planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
4. Sign-up: I would be thrilled if you signed up to receive my blog daily by entering your email address in the blank in the top right-hand corner of this page.
5. Thank you for being here!

Britain's metrification took 30 years. How long will Brexit take?

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 156 


A country can switch to a different regulatory regime but this would be like learning to write with your left hand for a right-handed person: not impossible but be pretty difficult and quite time-consuming. 

Britain's metrification (switching from Imperial units to kilograms and metres) took 30 years between 1970 and 2000. How long would it take to switch from EU membership to being outside of the EU then? And would anyone be surprised if most of the Brexit policies came out left-handed.

Measuring tape (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 156 have been posted so far and another 5 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
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5. Thank you for being here!

The Long March to Brexit may take 15 years at China's pace and lead to the breakup of the UK

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 155 

On March 23 about a million people took part in the People's March in London demanding a Second Referendum. Three days earlier, on March 20, Britain completed 1,000 days of inexorably marching towards Brexit since the June 23, 2016 EU referendum. When two waves travelling in opposite directions collide, they usually don't cancel each other but continue onwards. Sadly, no one knows how long the pro-Brexit and anti-Brexit waves will be sustained.

China can provide a useful story on opposing waves that is important in several ways. The ideology-driven Chinese communists started their Long March in 1934 and made it to safety in about a year. Yet, it took them another 14 years to win power in China in 1949. This also led to the break-up of the country into two Chinas: the People's Republic of China and the Republic of China in Taiwan.

If China is any guide for the Brexit process, based on the Chinese communist party's pace, Britain may achieve the ideological nirvana of Brexit in 2031. Unfortunately, by that time it may also end up divided into two countries: the brexited mainland of (potentially communist) Britain and the remainer island of (capitalist) Northern Ireland.

The writing on the wall may turn out to be a Chinese communist slogan or anarchist graffiti after all.

The Long March, China, 1934-35 (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 155 have been posted so far and another 6 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the originally planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
4. Sign-up: I would be thrilled if you signed up to receive my blog daily by entering your email address in the blank in the top right-hand corner of this page.
5. Thank you for being here!

Shreds of the Withdrawal Agreement are smeared on the PM's face

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 154 

If you wipe your wet face with a paper towel that is too thin, you will end up with pieces of paper stuck all over your face.

The UK's Withdrawal Agreement is one such thin paper towel. Britain was never going to be able to negotiate anything substantially better than this with the EU. And now that the UK Parliament has rejected this thin paper twice, its shreds are humiliatingly stuck to the face of the British prime minister - like an egg on her face.

How will she ever get out of this shambolic mess?

Theresa May, Feb 2019 (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 154 have been posted so far and another 7 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the originally planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
4. Sign-up: I would be thrilled if you signed up to receive my blog daily by entering your email address in the blank in the top right-hand corner of this page.
5. Thank you for being here!

Brexit is unreal - like the floating mountains in Avatar

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 153 

Brexit is as disconnected from reality as the floating mountains in the movie Avatar are disconnected from the ground. How they can defy the laws of physics (for Avatar) and the laws of economics and international relations (for Brexit) is another matter. Suffice to say that if you are an ideologically pure Brexiteer, you don't need to give too much thought to these things. Brexit means Brexit... as if pigs might fly.

Floating mountains of Avatar (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 153 have been posted so far and another 8 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
4. Sign-up: I would be thrilled if you signed up to receive my blog daily by entering your email address in the blank in the top right-hand corner of this page.
5. Thank you for being here!

Britain's Brexit policy is an empty suitcase: lacking in substance and prone to breakage

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 152 

When you take a full suitcase on a flight, it will get buffeted and battered by airport handlers but it will not arrive broken at the carousel belt. This is because the stuff inside a full suitcase structurally supports the rigidity of the frame.

In contrast, when you take an empty suitcase, after a number of flights you are likely to find it broken when you pick it up at the luggage belt. An empty suitcase cannot support the weight of the heavier suitcases that will be stored on top of it in the hold of the plane and during transportation around airports.

Britain's Brexit policy is an empty suitcase. There was never much agreement within the country how to support the frame of the suitcase internally. And when the European Commission put on top of the Brexit suitcase another 27 suitcases, the Brexit suitcase buckled under the weight.

Churchill once said about Clement Atlee: "An empty taxi arrived at 10 Downing Street and Clement Attlee got out of it." 

In 2016 David Cameron left behind an empty suitcase as he was leaving Downing Street and Theresa May crawled out of it.

Suitcase (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 152 have been posted so far and another 9 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
4. Sign-up: I would be thrilled if you signed up to receive my blog daily by entering your email address in the blank in the top right-hand corner of this page.
5. Thank you for being here!

Post-industrial and post-colonial Britain is a hollow poplar, not a sturdy oak

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 151 

Britain's global dominance grew like a poplar tree: the rise of Britain was quick and reached high. From the defeat of Napoleon to around World War 1, Britain was the undisputed global power for a century. The memory lives on.

Many Brits, however, confuse the metaphor of the poplar with the more popular British symbol: the English oak. An oak can live for over a thousand years; a poplar barely lasts a hundred. What makes things worse for the poplar is that it usually develops a hollow core and this brings about its demise (though cuttings may emerge and re-grow into young trees from the stump.)

Britain owes to industrialisation and colonisation its transformation into a global power in the 19th century. In the 21st century, however, these two phenomena are both gone from Britain. Brexiteers still think that, because Britain is standing tall in the world taiga, it must be a formidable player. Yet, once you realise that the core of the poplar is hollow, you come to accept that the UK has a more limited role to play in global politics and trade.

In this respect, Britain can learn from small countries like Bulgaria and Denmark. Bulgaria saw the zenith of its power in Europe in the 10th century, while the Vikings conquered Europe in the Middle Ages but have not been heard from since. How popular would it be if Britain joined the poplar club?

Poplar tree (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 151 have been posted so far and another 10 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
4. Sign-up: I would be thrilled if you signed up to receive my blog daily by entering your email address in the blank in the top right-hand corner of this page.
5. Thank you for being here!

Brexit is like driving in the middle of the road on Red traffic lights

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 150 

Three years ago, Brexiteers imagined Brexit as a piece of cake and portrayed it in correspondingly "cakey" terms in the media. It sounded great in theory. But there was a minor problem:

"In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice there is."

The Brexiteers' vision of Brexit did not survive first contact with reality. "The easiest trade deal in history" evaporated into a morass of failed iterations of the Withdrawal Agreement. There was simply no way that the EU was going to give Britain an easy ride. Global trade is a two-lane road but Britain wanted to drive in the middle, wreaking havoc on both sides. The two-way traffic on the road has pretty strict (if not German) rules and both the EU and the rest of the world couldn't quite understand Britain's nonchalance in imagining that it would be left to drive in the middle. 

Brexiteers imagine Brexit in a way almost as surreal as traffic lights in China during the Cultural Revolution. The Chinese decided sometime in 1966-1967 that traffic signalling needed to be overhauled and Red would start signifying Go. They only forgot one thing: the meaning of Green was never changed to mean Stop, so utter chaos ensued. Even the red guards had to admit that the old system had worked better and after a few days switched back to normal traffic lights.

Britain has taken 33 months of "Cultural Revolution"-style traffic to come to this point in the traffic circle. Let's hope that red and green will be restored to their original meaning soon.

Traffic lights (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 150 have been posted so far and another 11 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
4. Sign-up: I would be thrilled if you signed up to receive my blog daily by entering your email address in the blank in the top right-hand corner of this page.
5. Thank you for being here!