Brexit for a Global Britain unites three promises: Jam Tomorrow, Mañana, Inshallah!

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 29

Michel Barnier tells a joke to Theresa May:
"How many Brexiteers does it take to change a light bulb? -
One to promise a brighter future and the rest to screw it up."

This is funny but unfortunately also very sad. Welcome to our oxymoronic world!

The unrealistic promises of Brexiteers can now come with global variations, worthy of a "Global Britain":

1. Jam Tomorrow (from Alice in Wonderland): you can have jam tomorrow and jam yesterday but never jam today. And it is always today when you ask for it. Have you seen anyone asking Donald Trump for a Free Trade Agreement (FTA) with the USA these days?

2. Mañana, which in Spain and Latin America means not only tomorrow and later, but also years later. Britain is therefore going to enter into an FTA with all of Latin America mañana.

3. Inshallah! ("God willing" in Arabic): Muslims are required by the Quran to say this when speaking of future events. While non-Muslims say it to mean a 5% probability, give or take. More trade deals with the Gulf, Inshallah! (...though Saudi is currently a realistic prospect, give or take a murdered journalist.)

 

With all this in mind, it is important that UK citizens and residents should sign the "More United" petition: (https://www.moreunited.uk/real_brexit) which asks the British Government to carry out and publish an assessment of how the impact of the Brexit plan compares with the current EU membership of the UK. This petition is supported by Anna Soubry MP (Conservative) and Chuka Umunna MP (Labour).

How many Brexiteers are needed to change a light bulb (Source: Alex Grashkina)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a daily #BrexitMetaphors series, with 132 more Brexit Metaphors to follow until Brexit day, March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, you are welcome to leave a comment below.