Brexit is a wart on the face of Britain and folk remedies can't help

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 145 

Brexit is a wart on the face of the British political landscape and the economy. The worse part is that British politicians are dealing with it in an utterly chaotic way: Parliament voted against the Withdrawal Agreement on March 12 and against a No-Deal Brexit on March 13. The only thing they haven't tried yet are folk remedies. Tom Sawyer recommends using "spunk water" (water collected in the hollow of a tree stump) for treating warts, while Huckleberry Finn prefers throwing a dead cat into a graveyard. Would you be surprised if you saw on March 14 a headline in The Sun: 

"Tender for the procurement of 650 dead cats for Westminster."

The face of Brexit Britain

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 145 have been posted so far and another 16 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
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Britain is a helicopter trying to soar above the 7.5 km ceiling of the Withdrawal Agreement

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 144 

The UK is a helicopter on a mission to fly away from Europe. Helicopters can only soar to an altitude of 7.5 km above sea level. Beyond that the air is too thin to sustain propeller-driven ascent. 

Britain's EU Withdrawal Agreement is a shroud that envelops the Earth at 7.5 km altitude. It limits Britain, tying it to the lower reaches of the atmosphere. No matter how much the British helicopter tries to breach this ceiling, it can't. Maybe with an EU-sanctioned updraft (Theresa May's March 11 agreement with Brussels), it can go up to 7.6 km, but that's about it: Britain is tied to planet Europe.

Of course, the helicopter also has the option to crash into the ocean. March 29 beckons.

Eurocopter helicopter (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 144 have been posted so far and another 17 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
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Brexit's split identity: between giving the fig and placing a fig leaf

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 143 

Many Brits voted for Brexit in a snub to the establishment. The EU referendum offered an opportunity to "give the fig" to the ruling elite, which was seized in large numbers by Labour supporters in the North of England.

At the same time, many Tories in the south of England are using Brexit as a fig leaf to hide their diverse but narrow interests: from nationalists who don't want more foreigners; to hedge fund managers who detest the EU cap on banker bonuses; to Brexiteer politicians who see it as an opportunity to go up the political ladder. Conveniently, the fig leaf is big enough to cover all these narrow interests at the point where they intersect: Britain’s relationship with the EU. 

We all like some figgy pudding... but wouldn’t it have been so much easier if the fig leaves could have simply covered the figs?

Fig leaf (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 143 have been posted so far and another 18 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
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2016 EU referendum and Concorde planes are both sunk costs

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 142 

We, humans, like to think we make rational decisions based only on our present view of the future. In reality, however, our decisions are emotionally contaminated by irrational attachments to the past. This is knowns as the "sunk cost fallacy". If you take out a mortgage and then the value of your property crashes below the value of the outstanding mortgage loan, the longer you have been paying mortgage fees, the less likely you are to do the rational thing and walk away, leaving the property to the bank.

The Concorde supersonic jet project is another example of the sunk cost fallacy: the British and French governments had invested so much in it that they were unwilling to give up on it when it became obvious that the project was a commercial failure. Hence the other name of the "sunk cost fallacy": escalation of commitment.

In a similar way, the 2016 EU referendum should be treated as a sunk cost when viewed from 2019. It did set the political direction three years ago but it should not constrain the options for the future now. Brexiteers insist that a 2nd referendum would be undemocratic. Yet, if the present moment requires another referendum, the sunk costs of the past should not influence present decisions. 

Maybe a buoyant future beckons after we've swept away the sunk costs?

Concorde (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 142 have been posted so far and another 19 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
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Northern Ireland is the ear hampering a clean Brexit haircut

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 141 

Brexit is a haircut and Theresa May is the barber. She wants to give Britain a nice clean Brexit haircut but there is something in the way: a ear. Northern Ireland is the ear on the side of Britain's face that's making the Brexit haircut so difficult, if not impossible.

A barber wouldn't cut off their customer's ear just for the sake of a haircut. However, an inexperienced barber can easily let blood by incompetently making cuts on the ear while trying to shape the overall haircut. In the Northern Ireland context, would this make the barber Theresa May a barbarian?

Human ear (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 141 have been posted so far and another 20 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
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Breixt is a collapsing illusion: just like London Bridge in the eyes of foreign tourists and English children

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 140 

When tourists come to London, a key landmark they want to see is London Bridge. However, most of them end up disappointed when they find out what the true London Bridge is. The fancy bridge they would have known from photos and posters is not London Bridge; it is Tower Bridge. While London Bridge in its current iteration is probably the most ordinary bridge over the Thames (see photo).

Brexiteers imagine Brexit as the glorious Tower Bridge of Britain's imperial past: unbounded sovereignty, no payments to any foreign bodies, free trade across the Continent. But Brexit is actually London Bridge: an illusion that can only exist when viewed from afar; but which collapses upon closer inspection. 

The collapsing London Bridge is not only a recent Brexit phenomenon. It features in a famous nursery rhyme (below). The only question is will Theresa May manage to come out as the "fair lady" from this shambolic mess?

London Bridge is falling down,

Falling down, falling down,

London Bridge is falling down,

My fair Lady.

London Bridge and the City of London, 2005 (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 140 have been posted so far and another 21 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
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If Brexit is delayed, it will start resembling a sausage

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 139 

"Everything has an end. Only the sausage has two ends."

This German saying is about to become a Brexit joke as well if Brexit is delayed by the March 12-14 Parliament votes. If the original March 29 Brexit date is pushed back by two months to around the time of the European Parliament elections in May 2019, Brexit will start resembling a two-month-long sausage from one end to the other (never mind the beginning).

And if Brexit is delayed again beyond that (provided a constitutional solution can be found how Britain can send unelected delegates to the European Parliament in the interim), it may acquire a third end and start resembling a samosa.

Sausage or samosa, we won't be starving - especially those of us who have already made three weekend trips to the supermarket to stockpile food.

And if the sausage is rolled up one end into the other like the one on the photo, Brexit might be avoided altogether. No voodoo or shamanism necessary: just roll up any sausages you can get hold of and pray for the best. It might have a more predictable effect than what chaotic British politics can currently deliver.

Sausage with two ends (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 139 have been posted so far and another 22 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
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Brexit is behind schedule like the 2004 Greece Olympics. The 11th hour beckons!

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 138 

The President of the International Olympics Committee calls the Greek Prime Minister in July 2004:

"Mr. Karamanlis: the Olympic Games are due to open in Athens on August 13. Yet, your government has not finished the sports facilities. There is less than a month left. I am deeply worried."

"No worries, Mr. Rogge", replies the Greek PM. "It is true that we are running very much behind schedule. And it is true that the opening ceremony is on August 13... BUT IN THE EVENING!"

If anyone should call the British Prime Minister, Theresa May, with a similar message about Brexit, she will be able to reassure them in a similar manner: "Brexit is indeed running behind schedule. It is due on March 29... BUT IN THE EVENING."

Joking aside, Brexit is scheduled to take place at 23:00 UK time (midnight Brussels time) on March 29. That's what the Bible calls "the 11th hour": at the last possible moment. The 11th hour worked out fine for the Greek Olympics in 2004. Let's see how well it will work for Brexit and if Theresa May will perform a rain dance IN THE EVENING.

2004 Olympics flame lighting ceremony (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 138 have been posted so far and another 23 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
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Is the Brexit open-heart surgery intentionally presented as a trivial haircut?

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 137 

Hard-core Brexiteer politicians are confusing open-heart surgery with getting a new haircut. If only Brexit were such a trivial matter and not the gravely serious process that poses huge risks for modern Britain's economic and political health.

An alternative interpretation of the chaos that has engulfed the country is that Brexit politicians may have known that they were advocating for surgery, but the only way they could bring their patients around to agree to have heart surgery performed on them in a barber shop was to convince them that they were merely getting a haircut. This is how Brexiteers presented their case to the 17.4 million people who voted Leave in 2016.

In China important things and people are said to be "as heavy as Mount Tai" (重于泰山), while the insignificant and trivial are "as light as a goose feather" (轻于鸿毛). Boris Johnson, Michael Gove and Jacob Rees-Mogg must have shed plenty of goose feathers while flitting around their barber shop surgery.

Open-heart surgery (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 137 have been posted so far and another 24 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
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Should Britain follow the EU and abolish time changes, mimicking Franco's grovelling to Hitler

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 136 

When you read about the EU wanting to delay a clock change move and trying to slow time, you cannot be blamed for thinking of Brexit. Yet, the EU is genuinely not preoccupied with the UK in this particular story about scrapping the twice-yearly changing of the time by an hour back and forth in March and October.

If the plan is carried through, the EU will stop changing the time after the summer of 2021 and most of the EU will be frozen in Central European Summer Time (CEST) for eternity. However, if post-Brexit Britain decides to continue changing its time, it will end up with a 2-hour time difference between Greenwich Mean Time (GMT) and CEST in the winter. 

Wouldn't a moat of two full hours be the biggest present for the Brexiteers trying to defend "Fortress Britain" from the evil eurocrats? Who would have dreamed of a better time divide, deeper than the English Channel and taller than the Alps?

Yet, if the UK does go along with the Europeans and sticks to summer time for eternity, it will be accused by the very same Brexiteers of walking in the footsteps of Franco, who switched Spain from GMT to Central European Time (CET) around the time of World War 2 to align himself more closely with Hitler.

Scrapping time changes (Source: Reuters)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 136 have been posted so far and another 25 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
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Coronation chicken will soon be chlorinated chicken. Sorry, Elizabeth!

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 135 

To get a US-UK trade deal signed, Britain will need to make significant concessions, including allowing broader access to the British market for US agriculture and food exports. These include the proverbial chlorinated chicken and growth-hormone beef.

In 2008 the EU Council rejected the possibility of imports of American chlorinated chicken into the EU. However, after Brexit the UK will be desperate to sign a trade deal with the US and will have much less leverage in the trade negotiations compared with the 500-million-strong EU in its free trade area (FTA) negotiations with the US.

So, step aside Coronation chicken and make way for chlorinated chicken! 

Sorry, Queen!

Coronation chicken (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 135 have been posted so far and another 26 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
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Brexit is like toothpaste flowing out of a tube: if Britain leaves the EU, it can never rejoin

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 134 

The Brexit process is like squeezing toothpaste out of a tube. Toothpaste flows one way only: if it has come out, it can never go back in again. If Britain leaves the EU on March 29, it will never be able to re-join the EU again.

No other EU member state fits the toothpaste metaphor better than Britain. That's because no other EU member state has obtained so many opt-outs from common EU policies over the decades:
1) Opt-out from the Schengen borderless travel zone;
2) Opt-out from the obligation to adopt the euro;
3) Opt-out from the EU Charter of Fundamental Rights;
4) Opt-out from various policies in the field of justice, security and defence;
5) An annual UK rebate from the EU budget of around £5 billion pounds.

What happens to the toothpaste that has come out of the tube is a separate question. In most cases it is spat out and washed down the sink.

Toothpaste (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 134 have been posted so far and another 27 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
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Brexiteers are electrons: energy without substance. Remainers are protons: substance with disproportionately little energy

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 133 

Protons weigh 2,000 times more than electrons, yet the two have equal (though opposite) charges. 

Brexiteers are electrons: light in substance but strong in charge. While Remainers are protons: anchored in substance, yet only able to cancel out (but not overpower) the charge of the electron.

Brexiteers, light in substance, don't have a plan because diverging futures are unknowable. While Remainers have a lot more mass because the pathways they can give for the future are actually taken from the present.

Proton & Electron (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 133 have been posted so far and another 28 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
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The hours don't matter for EU accession. The minutes do for EU withdrawal

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 132 

When Bulgaria and Romania joined the EU on January 1, 2007, they joined at 00:00 (midnight) Bulgarian and Romanian time. This was still 23:00 Central European Time (CET) on December 31, 2006  (and 22:00 GMT in London) but the one-hour time difference with Brussels did not bother anyone. The EU accession treaty for Bulgaria and Romania does not specify the exact hour and simply stipulates January 1 as the accession date in all 23 official EU languages.

On the other hand, when the UK triggered Article 50 on March 29, 2017, it was told by Brussels that the date and hour of formal withdrawal from the EU would be 00:00 (midnight) CET on March 30, 2019, which is awkwardly 23:00 GMT on March 29 in London. Britain tried to negotiate a midnight GMT withdrawal but failed. Symbolically, Brussels was setting the terms.

These principles have also been visible in trade and regulatory talks: when two sides are converging, the precise details are not important. However, when diverging, all the minutiae come to the surface (in 60-minute increments).

Clock (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 132 have been posted so far and another 29 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
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Britain wants Brexit to be a sauna. It may turn out an oven

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 131 

Brexit is a sauna that may turn out to be an oven. It is vaunted by Brexiteers as bringing health benefits, i.e. it is expected to energise the British economy, just like a sauna is supposed to strengthen the health of the sauna-goer. However, with Brexit, Britain will relinquish control over the Number 1 economic relationship it has: with the EU. Ironically, "taking back control" means giving up control. Thus, handing over the thermostat of the sauna to the EU may turn the sauna into an oven. And we all know what goes into the oven: your dinner.

If you are not at the table, you are on the menu!

Sauna (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 131 have been posted so far and another 30 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
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Brexit is bird in the bush. EU membership is bird in the hand

By George ILIEV
Brexit Metaphor No 130 

Brexit is the proverbial "bird in the bush" - not worth as much as the "bird in the hand", also known as EU membership.

There are linguistic studies on this proverb. Interestingly, it turns out that in more stable Europe, the ratio is 2:1 birds in the bush vs birds in the hand. However, in more unstable regions such as Latin America, the ratio goes up: a a bird in the hand is worth many more birds in the bush (or birds in the sky). In volatile Colombia, the proverb goes: "Más vale pájaro en mano, que ciento volando." (A bird in the hand is worth more than 100 in flight.)

Brexit is a recursive phenomenon: it is a promise for a brighter future ("bird in the bush") which ironically is creating more instability and is thus decreasing the value of the "bird in the bush". Promises and political talk are getting cheaper with the increase in the supply of birds fluttering in the bush which never actually get caught in the hand. Luckily, at least the bird in the hand is still in the hand until March 29, with the possibility of holding on to it for longer if Article 50 is delayed or cancelled.

Birds in the sky (Source: Wikipedia)

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Notes:
1. Timeline: This article is part of a series of original #BrexitMetaphors published daily. A total of 130 have been posted so far and another 31 Brexit Metaphors will be published every day until the planned Brexit date of March 29, 2019.
2. Disclosure: The author has a master's degree in European Integration. He also thinks he knows a bit about business, economics, entrepreneurship, China, history, geography, nature, science and Rubik Cubes.
3. Invitation: If you'd like to contribute to the debate, please leave a comment below or re-tweet the blogpost link.
4. Sign-up: I would be thrilled if you signed up to receive my blog daily by entering your email address in the blank in the top right-hand corner of this page.
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